Wiring diagrams happen to be a perfect vehicle for carrying the principles of technicians beyond nuts & bolts. First, the simple act of color-coding helps to bring out the true wealth of your knowledge and is an excellent step in diagram analysis. Beyond that, it is an amazing tool for developing the awareness needed to get on the road to becoming an expert learner.
Shield drain wire must be spliced only to mating shield drain wires and not grounded at the junction box. Feedback shields must be passed through pin for pin. Separate junction boxes for power and feedback are required.
A simple, experimental motor such as this is not capable of making much power. We can increase the turning force (or torque) that the motor can create in three ways: either we can have a more powerful permanent magnet, or we can increase the electric current flowing through the wire, or we can make the coil so it has many "turns" (loops) of very thin wire instead of one "turn" of thick wire. In practice, a motor also has the permanent magnet curved in a circular shape so it almost touches the coil of wire that rotates inside it. The closer together the magnet and the coil, the greater the force the motor can produce.
A ferrite sleeve around the three power conductors as they leave the drive will help to reduce common-mode noise current. Take all three conductors two or three times through the core. If it runs hot reduce the number of turns.